This is why I run
For the past month, I have been thinking about writing something that I personally connect with. Something unique to me that has become a part of my life and has helped me grow significantly. But also something that has become second nature to the extent that if someone were to ask me, "why do you do this?" I would say, "just because.
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After procrastinating for a long while, it finally hit me. That something has been running. It has become a part of my routine, and I know that no matter what, I will find that one day to go out and do a 5-10k. Even if I miss a week or two, I know it has become second nature, and I will start it on some random day when I feel drained. Funny when I say drained, most people prefer running when they are feeling energetic. But for me, it has worked the opposite way. I run on days when I am not feeling super 100%. I get that "running high" when I am in the process and feel the best when I am done.
Here's a link to how and why it helps hit peak dopamine in the process.
It was never like this though. The consistent running only started during the pandemic when I noticed some bad habits that I had caught on to. By bad, I mean things that I knew would turn out to be bad for me in the future. And it all started when I went on a run with my cousin, and I saw myself struggling to keep up while he was running at a constant fast pace. I was just wondering why? He helped me realize that one barrier:
I was just feeling anxious because I kept running out of breath. But when you are running outside or any place, there is enough oxygen. So feeling breathless is fine, the catch is to just control breathing and constantly pacing up. "Next time run till your legs started feeling the pain. And don't stop but slow down, if at all you feel out-of-breadth."
I think that initial push is what got me into running, and I started doing short-distance running. It even came to a point that when there was a country-wide lockdown, I used to run on my terrace and take loops around for 30 minutes, just so I wouldn't lose out on the rhythm.
So now the question: Why do I run? What do I think about when I am running? For the longest time, I could never figure out why, but then I read Murakami's book, and bloody hell, I related to it. The way he has described running is exactly how I have felt.
As I run, I don't think much about anything worth mentioning. I just run. I run into a void. Sometimes the monkey brain does latch onto a thought, but it just lasts for a moment or two. The way Murakami puts it is:
"The thoughts that occur to me while I'm running are like clouds in the sky. Clouds of all different sizes. They come and they go, while the sky remains the same sky as always. The clouds are mere guests in the sky that pass away and vanish, leaving behind the sky. The sky both exists and doesn't exist. It has substance and at the same time doesn't. And we merely accept that vast expanse and drink it in."
I used to run earlier because I had put on a lot of weight on my legs, but then once that changed, I still kept running. Running helped me feel fit, and feel like I can do anything that I want. And I realized that was actually one of my motivations. The goal of my life is to always feel fit, not look fit with abs and such. Those are just outcomes, but not something that I would chase. I would chase the feeling of feeling fit, and that is what running makes me feel.
Apart from this, research helped figure out that there is a lot of value in running and how it can help get fit. I'll talk about that in the next one. For now, I'll end with a teaser: Keep running if you do and start if you don't.